A Day in the Life of An Adult With Anxiety

I was not feeling well Sunday and stayed home from church. On Monday morning after a very restless night (nights are usually restless) I woke up early and despite not being my best I showered and got into my car. I've had my permit for four years, but didn't drive for a long time until my sister-in-law exchanged driving lessons for babysitting her children. I've only had my license coming on two years and I'm working on driving on the highway, but that's still a long ways off since my 21 year old car is not the fastest and tends to shake like a rocket when barreling down a road at 50 mph...I don't want to know what it does at 65 or 70 (fall apart?). I'm okay to drive, but I don't like the unpredictability of it because you never know what other drivers are going to do especially if they're being their usual idiotselves on the road (I can't believe that some people aren't allowed to drive, I guess that's how you learn though). However my Grandpa taught me to assume the other person is going to make a mistake so this eased my anxiety a little bit, besides I am the one in control of my car and I won't be the one who makes stupid decisions on the road. Second, I had to navigate the College parking lot, which college students aren't always the best drivers and I've had my fair share of almost being hit. I like to park away from other cars. Second I love school and the freedom of having a very open schedule. Before in High School I had seven to eight classes in a day with heaps of homework on top of it and I was prone to breaking down two to three times a week due to the stress. Needless to say my grades suffered. However in college I like to take two or three classes a semester its better on me and my grades don't suffer. After I learned this I became an Honor Student with Phi Theta Kappa lets hope I can hold that title when I do math next year. School is fun, but sometimes its a little hard for me to socialize, but as soon as I get going then I'm find. Third I had to drive again on a three lane road, merge through all three lanes, get to the turn lane, and find a parking space. 

Dramatization of driving, I wish that was my corvette 

Then I went to Subway and ordered food, which before I never liked this interaction because I had to communicate to someone what I wanted and that's always a difficult thing for someone with Asperger Syndrome. After lunch I drove another ten minutes and went straight to work. Work during the winter is slow I usually work when I am called, I'm like their minute man if the true receptionist gets sick. The thought of work would've driven my teenage self to tears. Its not really a fear of work, but a fear of going and socializing that really worried me. I had always embraced the stereotype that people with disabilities weren't able to work. This is a huge misconception there are many of us who do work and sometimes were better suited for some jobs then others based on the specialized skills we come with. People with Autism have a very select group of skills like I am very good with writing and editing, but I'm not so great with math and statistics. I didn't think I was very good with socializing, but my job requires that I answer the phones and make sure the contact gets to the right person and if the person isn't available I have put them through to their voicemails. This is unusual for a girl who didn't learn how to answer the phone by the time she was 20 (I still prefer text message maybe because I'm better at communicating through words then speech). After learning my job I became comfortable with my position and the people around me. After work I got home at 5 and debated whether to go to the Singles Ward Family Home Evening (social gathering of young single adults where we have fun activities), which is another 15 minute drive in the dark, socializing again, and another 15 minutes back. After a full day of social interactions and not being able to decompress (decompression is an important stage where an individual with autism unwinds from the day by doing their favorite activity mine is writing). I decided to stay home because there's always this nagging fear of breaking down in front of people, which I get embarrassed by. Its not that I don't like going, I enjoy it thoroughly, but after a long day of social interactions it was a little much. However I am slowly working up to it and looking forward to the day when I can go to social functions after work. Anxiety is a real thing, that I tend to overthink and I know I'm not the only one with anxieties, what are some of yours?